Relationship therapy is never about who’s ‘right’ or who’s ‘wrong’.
When consulting a professional with couple issues its essential you see someone who is trained and experienced in working with the relationship itself.
That means that the practitioner looks at the two individuals and knows that each bring something to the problem that exists. Relationship therapy is never about who’s ‘right’ or who’s ‘wrong’. Whilst understandable when partners feel hurt, laying blame is not an effective long-term strategy to help the couple understand, and then overcome, whatever issues they may have.
Unfortunately, most couples come to couple therapy as the last straw. Thus there are usually multiple problems that have been ongoing for some time before seeking help. Clearly this isn’t desirable. Equally, it’s the typical reality for most people. So it’s essential that you recognise that change is in your hands.
It’s a lot easier to go to the pub or the golf course and complain about how your partner doesn’t give you enough sex. It’s a lot easier to go out to coffee and moan about the fact that your partner is a Neanderthal who can’t communicate. In fact, it’s also easier to go to individual therapy and paint a picture to a sympathetic practitioner who is supportive and affirming of your plight. But none of these things deal with the relationship itself.
If you are serious and open to making your own changes, and if you want to find out of there is a future for the relationship without doing more damage, then gather up your courage and make the call.
